


Into the Vortex

by OnceUponAMidnight



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pain, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:25:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAMidnight/pseuds/OnceUponAMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Dark_fest for the prompt "Any fandom, any characters, losing my mind, one little piece at a time."</p><p>Hidden from even the most brilliant minds...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Vortex

“Charles?” the mathematician, startled, dropped the piece of chalk he was holding at the sound of his name and turned to face his former mentor. He wasn’t expecting to see such deep worry etched on the older man’s face.

“Larry! What’s up?” he frowned a little, fiddling with the edge of his sleeves before bending down to pick up the rogue piece of chalk.

“Charles, I’ve been calling your name for quite sometime now” his voice was alarmingly soft to Charlie’s ears, his tone clipped and careful, so unlike Larry. The levels of concern were starting to make him feel a bit dizzy; he dropped his eyes, seemingly fascinated with the chalk he rolled around in his hands.

“Sorry, I’ve been a bit…preoccupied lately” he sighed, turning back to read the chalkboard. 

Suddenly, it seemed that Larry was by his side in an instant, garage door closed firmly behind him; too close his mind kicked in irrationally as his breath froze in his chest a moment. Larry’s hand reached out and softly encircled his wrist, fingers resting passively against his pulse. He gasped and pulled back violently, it felt like an electric shock had surged through his system. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him why it should feel so, the pain and anguish that such a polite gesture should cause. His mind was throwing warning signs but a thick fog coated everything but the numbers.  
“Sorry” He mumbled, folding his arms tightly against his chest to hide the shaking in his hands. He didn’t need to look at Larry to see the horror and worry stricken on the older man’s face, it made him feel sick with guilt at just the thought of inflicting such emotion on someone he cared for so dearly.

“Charles” the voice was uncertain, “You know it is more than acceptable to be preoccupied at such a time”, Charlie couldn’t read the look in the other man’s eyes. He knew his skills at body language were rather poor at the best of times, but this was Larry, he should be able to read him like a complex math problem. And yet still his mind drew a blank as to what about him that might worry Larry, whereas, somewhere at the back of his mind, somewhere in the blankness, a voice was trying to tell him something, trying to warn him. 

‘Remember’ something whispered in the darkness making him feel sick and weak. He shut his eyes a moment to blot out the aching but it didn’t seem to work, in fact, it seemed to intensify. Something felt wrong, so very, very, wrong but the reason eluded him. It had felt wrong for days now, possibly even weeks, but that was something else he couldn’t place any more, the ritual of tracking time had become one of the most irrelevant parts of his life as of late. He wanted to ask Larry if something had happened to create such an immense force on his bearing but found that he couldn’t, perhaps didn’t want to ask. 

Nervously, he tried to grasp at some memory locked away that could explain what it was he was feeling but all he could hear was screaming and redness. He rubbed at the side of his face absently, realising only dimly that Larry seemed a far distant memory like the planetary metaphors he was so fond of, despite the reality of his proximity.

There was only one thing that ever made sense in his brain, even when the rest of his faculties had long since shut down and that was the comforting presence of his native language, mathematics. However, even now it was becoming difficult to focus on this constant, with an unsettling, panic inducing madness creeping through him like a poisoned fog.

Snatches of images were trying to break through but he could only see frantic movement of black and red and un-cohesive shapes that he knew instantly he should recognise but still found that they remained elusive no matter how hard he tried. A streak of arrogance fought through and claimed that such simple things should not be beyond his abilities, it almost made him burst out into laugher (though he wasn’t quite sure that he didn’t) at its ridiculousness. He was feeling giddy and even a little manic but he knew that there was very little he could do about it now, he had learned these last few days (Weeks? Months?) that once this feeling took hold all he could do was sit shaking until it passed, though now it felt different still.

The pain intensified and finally the numbers forged through and began to replace everything but the screaming and the overwhelming fear, he sucked in a deep breath as if he had forgotten how and as he opened his eyes, lids heavy and trying to refuse, he realised just how wrong everything was. Somehow the world had turned upside down and he was no longer in his garage but in what appeared to be a hospital bed. 

With the roar of blood rushing in his ears, he jerked upright and noticed that whilst the environment seemed to have changed, his company however, had not. On an incredibly uncomfortable looking plastic chair placed beside his bed was Larry dozing fitfully. Charlie smiled despite himself, having Larry around always seemed to make things better. Still though, it felt as if something were missing, something that felt wrong. Ignoring the extra whispering and the swirling vortex of fear as if were a normal part of his psyche he made a small yet futile attempt to leave the bed which ended with him still facing towards the ceiling but shaking this time.

Larry was immediately awake and grasping at his hand as if was about to lose his mathematician into the vortex Charlie had been picturing. It felt rather apt in Charlie’s befuddled mind.

“How are you feeling?” again with the short, staccato sentences that put Charlie on the edge and wishing for his usually overly verbose best friend back.  
He opened his mouth, ready to reply with the stock ‘I’m fine’ phrase but the look in Larry’s eyes wouldn’t let him do so.

Fighting back both tears and the sticking in his throat he managed to finally voice something close to honesty to create the human contact he had been so desperately lacking. “I feel like I’m losing my mind” his voice sounded like someone else’s entirely, it was cracked and broken and sounded like a man with nothing left.

Larry clasped his hands over his protégés and stared deeply, “Charles, you are the closest person to me and always will be. I know that I’m not particularly clear when it comes to emotions, though all the cosmic metaphors and so forth, but I need you to know that I will always be here for you. So if you need to rant and rail about all you are feeling, please, go ahead and I will do all that is within my power to help you”

Charlie once again felt a frown creasing in his forehead and saw the confusion reflected in his closest (and possibly only, not that he dare contemplate the matter of his ineptitude with relationships) friend’s face, “What do you mean?”

Larry gripped his hands even tighter, “Why, regarding your father of course.”

And with that it was as if the oft quoted flood gates of his emotions had been not only flung wide open but decimated completely and suddenly harsh white light focussed the edges of his mind, leaving behind immediate reality in a thick, impenetrable cloud with his name fading into nothing. He saw and felt it all as clear as day and immediately regretted doing so.

He hadn’t in his darkest nightmares imagined something so violent, so far beyond horrific. The rational, logic driven mind such as his could find no reasoning for such a thing. 

He saw himself opening the door to the family home, somewhere that once held such precious memories, and stumbling to the floor, vomiting in sheer horror. The walls were no longer their original warmth but now stained deeply with blood, more blood than seemed physically possible. Dripping, dripping, seeping and staining.   
And in the dark, what looked like some kind of party decoration strung carefully on a misplaced coat stand (he felt himself screaming and screaming and screaming) were now clearly human intestines, wrapped and hung up with monsterous care. Something on his left, something dark and red and dripping, lead the way like an arrow to the back of the sofa. Willing his body forwards on elbows and knees, body quivering and rebelling, feeling like several eternities had past, finally he let out an inhuman moan at the sight of a human heart. 

And yet despite this, he knew that the worst had yet to come. 

Shakily returning to his knees, again, after an age of fighting back the bile and sickness, he managed to pull himself to his feet. What he had seen in part at the door had become indescribably vivid. Two bodies lay entwined on the sofa, or rather, they presumable were bodies at some point for they were little more than bloody rags and torn flesh, but despite this, Charlie knew. He knew even though one body could only be identified by its grey white hair and maddeningly familiar eyes and the other by the badge of authority the lay at what once was presumably a chest.

His father. His brother.

The screaming, the screaming, oh god the screaming. Charlie tried to tear at his eyes to remove the impossible from his vision. It was beyond unbearable, beyond existence. He tore at his wrists but nothing seemed to happen. Was he still in his mind or had he gained use of his body once more? No relief of mathematics came, no solace in numbers. Only death and the sweet bliss of nothingness could end this torturous pain.

 

_But reflected in the eyes of others was only pity and grief at the madness of a young genius now debilitated by something so horrific they could never know and never want to know. Larry now stared bleakly for hours at his restrained friend desperately wishing for some kind of life that was not a plea for death. He ached for the brilliant young mind to return but with each passing month it became harder and harder to grasp at this elusive hope._


End file.
